A guide for adults contemplating one of society's last taboos: potential estrangement from their parents.

Society expects unconditional devotion to parents, yet we support people leaving toxic romantic partnerships or unhealthy work environments. The Parent You Have confronts this double standard head-on, providing validation and practical tools for the thousands of adults asking: How do I continue a relationship with a parent who, no matter what I say or do, continues to hurt me?

Drawing on her extensive clinical experience and research involving over 2,000 estranged adult children, Whitney Goodman offers an accessible roadmap for navigating the complexities of difficult parent relationships. Her work empowers readers to dismantle the shame of strained bonds, providing the clarity needed to manage current dynamics or weigh the difficult choice between low contact and full estrangement.

By guiding readers through the process of accepting their reality while grieving the parent they deserved, Goodman provides a compassionate framework for recognizing when reconciliation is possible, and how to implement safe strategies for healthier connections.